Feeling the Darker Side of Myself 🌚

Stream of Consciousness #1

WARNING: This space is purely creative and I write for me. I do not wish for opinions or feedback though I recognize that I am “putting ‘my work’ out there” which inevitably means people will have thoughts and opinions about what I publish here…but I have worked very hard to let go of all of my f*cks…so if you care to pick up the f*cks that I’ve put down…please proceed with caution as they contain strong medicine.

Anyway, let’s begin this stream shall we?

For me this is a sacred practice. It is a practice in putting down what I “think” people would like and want to know and instead just writing for the sake of sharing. Sometimes that sharing will be from my head, sometimes my heart and sometimes from way out of left field.

A pondering I had in the shower this morning was about how I don’t want people to know me. I want to keep people guessing moving forward. Keep them in the mystery of not knowing which face of mine will show up at any moment.

I love dancing with the polarities of light and dark, masculine and feminine, yin and yang, depths and heights. They are two faces of the same coin and I love them both. I want to bring both of these faces into my life with more skill and intention.

Specifically in the shower this morning, I was feeling into the darker part of myself. The one that has been deemed “evil” or unacceptable at one point or another. The one that has that cheeky devilish grin. The one that laughs at misfortunate because She knows it’s not misfortune at all.

This darker part holds my intensity, my fire, my rage, my deep truths and a depth of love that is fierce and unyielding. I feel Her alive and present in this moment as I allow Her to be full here moving through the tips of my fingers.

I LOVE the ferocity She holds.

It is truly enlivening to not care for rules and external pressures and what the f*ck other people think. This dark side holds this loving destruction and chaos that wants to blow everything up in order to re-level the playing field and reveal that which was trying to hide or run away or stay buried…allowing it to be seen and to be free.

God, SHE is SEXY.

And SHE lovessss to roll around in that creative, sexual energy…physical or not. It’s her cat nip.

The word DRIPPING always comes to mind here when I start to tap into this face of hers. It’s a slow-moving, sensitive, drawling, kind of energy that gets you feeling tingly 😈.

It’s this energy that TURNS US ON to more than just our partners, but to LIFE itself. It’s the darkness that fuels our joie de vivre and gives us our shine. It’s the energy that lives in the depths of our being…that most people are too afraid to even attempt to access.

THAT’S HOW FUCKING POWERFUL IT IS.

It’s this energy of the darkness…from a place of pure love…that has driven men (in a high-level sense) to shit themselves and suppress it at all costs.

It’s so powerful that it almost automatically triggers some of our deepest fears. Shame, rejection, death, annihilation, intimacy, loss.

It’s a power that does not belong to women. It’s a power that lives within us all. Most people have just numbed it out so hard that it may as well not exist.

Whew! Did not expect to go HERE so quickly 😅

But as I said, stream of consciousness…never know where it’s going to go.

Started about me and then inevitably made it about you (the people)…what can I say, at a deeper level I’m here to serve and wake people the f*ckkk up to their deeper truths in whatever way they are ready to receive.

So there you go.

Your daily dose of awakening.

Let it soak in and touch you deep within so that just a little more light can shine into your darkness and let it be FREEEEEEEE.

#freewilly!

Loving the darkness within you,

🖤 Rachel 🖤